This morning during my devotion the Lord really spoke to me. Not only about forgiveness which was the topic of the devotion but on a couple of other things. One being my salvation. I grew up in church. For as far back as I remember, if it was Sunday or Wednesday, I was in church. I remember being at a revival when I was seven at the Gardendale High School football stadium and at the end of the sermon seeing a lot of people going down to the bottom and praying. I asked my daddy what they were doing and he said that many of them were asking Jesus to come into their hearts. He asked me if I wanted to do that and of course I said yes...I mean what little girl who has learned about Jesus all her short life doesn't want that. I prayed that prayer with my child like faith and was baptized within a couple of weeks. Life for me at seven went on as normal. Then in 1989 while away at church camp, I remember being moved by the Spirit that I needed to give my life to Christ which I thought I had done many years before as a young child but nevertheless, the push was strong and couldn't be denied. So once again I gave my life to Christ but this time I wasn't baptized. It wasn't long after this that my parents divorced and as if that wasn't enough, was deeply hurt by the church I was attending. I quit going to church at 14. I went on to live my life as a typical teenager. I don't want to say that I turned my back on God but I did turn my back on His church. I wanted nothing to do with a place that could treat me and my mother that way and call themselves Christians. Over the course of my teen years I did a lot of things I am not too proud of ....did things that I knew I shouldn't and I overlooked the convictions of the Holy Spirit. I prayed but mostly when I needed something from God. I look back now and realize that His hand never left me and that it is because of His love and mercy that I am where I am now. It wasn't until my daughter was about 8 years old that I went back to church. She had been going with my grandmother and one day, God said to me..."It isn't your grandmother's responsibility to have Mikaela in church. I have given that responsibility to you and Michael." We both knew this was true and did just that. We found a place and began taking our children to church. The Lord really began to do a work in my life there. I found a place to serve and both my children prayed to receive Christ and were baptized there. For a time I served as the women's ministry leader and I loved it! Now during this time, the Lord began reminding me to follow in believer's baptism and I just kept saying..."But Lord what will people think? What ministry leader hasn't been baptized...people will talk." I didn't do what He told me to do because of my ego and worry of what others would think of me. It's been a little over two years since that initial prodding and A LOT has happened. I have begged and pleaded to understand all that has gone on. I have gotten pretty mad at times too. All that has been accomplished is that I have found myself doubting my salvation over and over again. Going over and over it in my mind but being sure to tell no one because...what would they think of me. Afterall, I had been a ministry leader. I led bible studies. Today, in a devotion about forgiveness, I learned by identity is in Christ not others and who cares what others may say. Isn't my eternity and God's sacrifice of His son more important than what others think of me? Today, I learned that my prayer in 89 was real but I had treated it as a "fire-insurance policy"....that I had never truly surrendered my life. Today, I surrendered my life!!! I say all this because I wonder how many people make professions of faith at a young age and then as they get older never really deal with the Lord about their salvation because they worry what others will think. That was me. Without really knowing how to say this, my salvation experience has been a growing process. I prayed a prayer at 7 because I loved the stories about God and Jesus and wanted Him to be in my heart. As a young teen, understanding more about who Jesus was and what He did for me I prayed that prayer again. Today, as an adult, with even more understanding, I surrendered my life. And when we find the new church home God has for us, I will be baptized not worrying about what others think but instead, to show my Heavenly Father how proud I am that I am His child.
Isn't it amazing what God will do in our lives thru a simple devotion :)
